DAY 120

On this day my body and mind keeled under the weight of fatigue.

Not the kind of keeling where your knees buckle and legs give way.

But the kind where your body gentle folds up over a period of time.

By the end of the day I was like a discarded hanky.

There, but not useful anymore, until it's washed again and turned into a new hanky for a new day.

But tonight I am an unwashed hanky.

Not because my life is going haywire, in fact it has never been better.

But because I have gone haywire.

As I drag my folded bones to finish yet another task for the day, I hear my mother's voice: "You don't have to do it, if you are not up to it."

I am too tired to even shake my head in a vigorous "No"

So, I gently sway my head in an ambiguous way.

She understands. After all she's known me from the time I was just a little embryo.

"I mean it. You don't have to do it. You don't have to do anything, if you feel you are not up to it. Listen to your body," she says.

"Oh, but I have to," I whimper.

"The Sun will rise again tomorrow even if you don't complete your task tonight."

My eyes are tired to even glare at her, so I simply shut them tight AND open the pictures folder on the computer. And select this image.

"Look at those flowers. They just remain there. They do what they have to do and remain still when they have to. There is a time to move and a time to remain still. Both are important. If you don't remain still when you have to you will not be able to move when you have to."

I get her point.

We unabashedly push ourselves to the tipping point. Then turn around and blame the whole world before we have a breakdown. But the truth is only we can stop ourselves from pushing ourselves further to the point of no-return. For there is a time to move and a time to remain still. The yin and yang of life.