DAY 29 - Looking at myself through my shadow

Last day of the year. AND I am laid up in bed with fever and a nagging cough that makes me feel like a 100 year old woman.

One of the advantages of being ill is that you get to spend a lot of time with yourself. And that is what I have been doing. And today being New Year's eve the time is nothing short of perfect.

It has been an eventful year for me. A year when I finally knew what is it that I wanted to do with my life. A year that brought me answers to many unanswered questions. A year that's crystalised in me the belief that I am a powerful being, I am good and I am the creator of my own experience and that I am responsible and in complete control of my own life.

I very often photograph my shadow -it is a strange quirk of mine. And I always hated the result. The shadow was ugly, squat, horrible and it was all that it shouldn't be. It always evoked in me immense negative feelings. And for some strange reason, it invariably got translated into a reflection of myself -of what I was feeling or where I was at that point in time in my life. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself it is just a shadow of myself and not an x-ray of my soul, my ugly shadow-nee-innerself bothered me.

This image of my shadow is going to be one of the important images in my life, for I feel that this is one image that I will be going back to time and again in the future, for validation.

Because for the first time I felt good about my shadow. I liked my shadow. Tall (well, not in the literal sense) and confident, composed and calm, doing what I love doing and knowing that I am doing it well.....the shadow seemed happy, wholesome, at peace with itself and with the world around it. The shadow seemed to tell, well I am ready for the ride and I am going to enjoy every bit of it. Above all the shadow seemed to be aware of NOW.

Yup, I like my shadow. And as usual it's seems like a reflection of who I am at this moment in time. And I like who I am right now.

Here's to good tidings and awareness in the coming year!

DAY 28 - HOPE

There's a wonderful dialogue in the movie Premonition starring Sandra Bullock. `What is faith?" she asks the parish priest. "It is something that you cannot touch or see or even feel yet you believe in. Like love and hope."

Earlier in the day my interaction with the househelp left me with some nagging questions. A widowed muslim woman with three children, she's been forced to vacate her house and move into a new one. She wasn't too happy about it. Is the neighborhood bad and unfriendly, I asked her.

She said, it's not that it's just I don't have any of my people living close by and she left me to imagine the rest of the sentence. I know she does not have many relatives so I asked her, what do you mean "your people". She looked uncomfortable. You know what I mean, she said.

Yes, I know what she meant. She meant there weren't other muslim families and that she was living in a predominantly hindu neighborhood. And here we are living in a peaceful, secular part of the country yet the woman was afraid.

I realised that this kind of mental and psychological segregation of people based on religion has been happening for quite some time now. Something that I cannot grapple with or understand much. I have grown up with people of different faiths. I studied in a Muslim college and have wonderful friends who are muslim by faith. There was no invisible segreation in school or college based on religion.

Yet, it's happening now all the time. A muslim woman who has never been harmed in her life, ever by a hindu is apprehensive about living in a predominantly Hindu neighborhood. A Hindu who has never had a faulty relationship with a muslim colleague or neighbor is unconsciously beginning to second guess the actions, words and deeds of his friend of a different faith. Children of different faith play together, but there is a simmering volcano beneath the surface.

I beleive only FAITH can show us the way. By faith I don't mean faith in religion. I mean faith as in love and hope.

To me, this image of a burkha clad woman symbolises so many different emotions that many feel today fear, doubt, confusion....and to me there is also an element of hope in this picture -which is what the future is all about -LOVE AND HOPE

DAY 27 -Countryside in a bucket

I am a city girl. Not my choice. But I am. I was born and brought up in a city and have lived all my life in cities. However, my parents who were born in quaint little villages in God’s own country, made sure that I enjoyed a slice of the countryside all my life. Especially my mom, who made sure that I had plants and animals in my life. Though she was the one who would always end up caring for the dogs and cats that I enjoyed having in my life.

Most of our lives we lived in independent houses with a bit of earth for my mom to grow her kitchen garden. It is only in recent times that we have been living in an apartment. Something my mother hates. I do too, but it is more convenient for a working woman.

However, even today, she ensures that I get my slice of the country side –albeit in little plastic buckets, and tin cans and clay pots.

In our 2’ by 2’ balcony a tiny bit of space is devoted to my mother’s now highly shrunk kitchen garden. She manages to grow all kinds of vegetables there –tomatoes, potatoes, chillies, different kinds of beans, cucumber etc

There’s always a difference between these vegetables and the store bought ones. The one from my balcony seems more pure and healthy, sweet and lovely. I enjoy them tremendously. More than eating them, I feel wonderful when I see these vegetables hanging in my mom’s bucket-sized-kitchen-garden.

It not only reminds me but also reiterates the fact that we actually need very little to live on and we can always have all that we need and we can have it well. It is possible. That’s what this little, sweet looking vegetable from my teeny-tiny garden tells me.

And it gives me my slice of the country side -my slice of heaven

DAY 26 -FREUDIAN MOMENTS

Closed doors fascinate me.

Fans of Freud might say that I have something to hide hence the fascination for closed doors.

Maybe, maybe not. However, since this fasination has no negative connotation or vibration to it, I believe the summation might be a wee bit off mark.

I think it is an innate curiosity in humans that attracts us to anything that's concealed. In that sense my fascination for closed doors is nothing new.

However, what sometimes baffles me is that, I enjoy pondering about what's behind those closed doors. And I am very happy to remain in that state imagining the wildest, whackiest, possible scenarios behind those doors. So much so, sometimes when I get the chance to step behind those doors I am deeply disappointed because more often than not reality does not match up.

Like this image. The minute I saw this door I had my Freudian moment. My imagination ran amock. As usual reality did not match up. What's behind these doors? An empty green room!

DAY 25 -ACCEPTANCE

Why do I like this image so much?

Even before I could press the little black button on the camera and heard the sound of the `click' I knew, in the pit of my stomach, that this was going to be a memorable shot.

Sometimes I even manage to scare myself when I can a shot in a jiffy and feel it in my gut -the feeling of I have `the' shot.

It is not arrogance. It might be downright ignorance. But I just cannot help that feeling in my gut which say, `yeah, you have got it.'

At times, I involuntarily gravitate towards a particular spot and turn the settings in my camera, which would be just right for the shot that I would be taking a few minutes later. That is not spooky. Some even call it preparation. What is spooky is I would be doing it without actually realising that I am doing it.

I wouldn't even know that I would be taking that particular shot least of all that I should be taking it from that particular spot and with that particular aperture. Now THAT is spooky -by all in a good way.

In jest I tell my friends that I have a personal photo guru who guides me every step of the way. But jokes apart, I will always remember what my friend once told me. I was lamenting about how I am unable to wrap my brains around the circumstances that led me to stumble upon the calling of my life and how I am doing what I am doing. She said, "You have been given a gift. Accept it. Appreciate it. Enjoy it. And live it. Stop analyzing it."

Good advice. I have long since stopped analyzing how I am doing what I am doing. I have learnt to revel in it and enjoy it to the hilt.

And every time I can `the' shot and feel that tingly feeling in my stomach, I say a small `thank you' for the gift and move on to revel in the next.

DAY 24 - Source

Life is a combination of the seen and the unseen; the tangible and the untangible; real and imaginary; fantastic and difficult. And Nature is the best teacher of life. For nature is all of the above.

You feel the cool breeze, you can smell the rain before it falls to the ground, you can sense a natural calamity if you are atuned or aware of the vibrations it offers. It is fantastic in its beauty and is difficult and unwavering in its tasks.

Nature teaches you all about life. That is why there are so many tribes across the world that worship nature. They take and receive from Nature -for sustenance of life. That is the nature of nature -sustain human life.

There is nothing negative about nature. I get my dose of positive energy from nature. There is nothing like indulging in a little bit of `ME' time in the NATURE SPA.

I have a friend whose mind is always ticking with ideas and a thousand thoughts per millisecond. I sometimes wonder how she survives without having her brainbox blown-up into smithereens. Nothing seems to calm her down. But you put her in the midst of trees and mountains and the skies -she is as mellow as a puppy. The short time spent in the lap of nature calms her, rejuvenates her and she is back into the world with umpteen more ideas.

I captured this image of her, on a busy work-day, when she found the time to just allow herself to immerse in the goodness of nature. Both she and mother nature made a pretty picture and an exclusive one for the sun looked like the moon and there were dark clouds and rays of sunshine all together in the same canvas.

I am not a nature worshipper or any kind of worshipper. But what I have is a deep appreciation for nature. A deep sense of security when I am in the midst of it. And I am never alone with nature. It is a bond and friendship that I am beginning to cherish and revel in with each passing day. Is this what they say -`Connecting with the Source' -for after all Nature is the ultimate testimony of Source, right?

DAY 23 -Illusion

Sometimes I wonder, do I think in words or in images.
Sometimes the lines blur.
Sometimes there are images with no words.
But my words are ALWAYS accompanied by images.
That's so strange, because I began my career as a writer and not as a photographer.

This is one such image which has a story to it, but I just don't have the words. Now THAT'S confusing to me too!

I was shooting a dancer when this image offered itself to me -the leg of a male dancer next to that of the nandi -which is associated with Shiva- known as the master-dancer.

Look at the image again, don't you think that the foot of the Nandi is as elegant and worthy of chalangai (anklets) as that of any dancer...? Mmmm...now THAT is something to ponder

Day 22 - Finding God in Kitsch

My religious, practicing-Hindu mother just cannot understand how I, who voluntarily opted for Christianity at the age of 25 as a choice of religion, not go to church on Christmas eve.

“What sort of a Christian are you?” she asks absolutely disgusted by my behavior. “You don’t go to the church, not even on Christmas. Yet you love decorating your Christmas tree. Yes, I am really BIG on my small Christmas tree.

I don’t find God in religious places of worship. Don’t get me wrong –I am not being rebellious here. I fully support all those who want to go to churches, temples and mosques. I make it a point to drive my mom to the temple whenever she wants to.

I love temples and churches and mosques and all the other places of worship. I enjoy the smell of camphor and fresh flowers and the mantras in a temple; I absolutely revel in the singing, praise and worship in a church not to forget the fellowship and camaraderie that follows; I love the silence of a mosque. It’s just that I (and let me reiterate –I ALONE) cannot seem to find God here. I have tried for a major part of my life.

I seem more connected to my maker now more than ever. And I don’t even belong to any religion anymore nor do I go to the church anymore (again I am not subscribing this to anyone). I feel the connection when I look at the beautiful clouds, the breathtaking sunset and sunrise, the different shades of green in a lane full of trees. I find God in my bedroom, when I wake up at 4 am and just sit there with the lights switched off and the windows open, I feel my maker in the cool breeze that tingle my skin.

I feel more connected to God when I hang the stars and tinsels on my Christmas tree. When I finish decorating the tree and switch on the fairy lights –Oh my God, my heart leaps with joy to see that beautiful sight. And at that precise moment –when my heart is filled with unadulterated joy is when I feel deeply connected to God.

Merry Christmas. And I wish that each one of you find your connection in your own way!

This image is a collage of my the Christmas tree in my house -gives me great joy as always

DAY 21 -Natural artists

Sometimes nature offers you something so breathtaking that it actually takes your breath away.

This is one such image. I did not do a thing, other than point my camera in the right direction and click. The colors, the composition, the interplay between the setting sun and the bird in flight, all came together at the right moment to give me this wonderful composition.

And I thought to myself: OMG, how can anyone compete with that. No matter what you do there is no way you can compete with nature as far as creative pursuits go.

That's when the good angel on my right shoulder whispered (Yup, the good one sits on my right and naughty one on my left)
-"You dumb cluck of a humanoid what should I do to get across through that maze that you call a brain. Don't you realise -you don't have to compete, you ARE A CO-CREATOR.

" You have come from the one who created this -this sun, the sky, the birds, this beautiful image, which you think is so absolutely breathtaking. You have come from the one that's created THIS.

"You can call him God. You can call him SOURCE. you can call him HER. Or you can call it Energy or nothing at all. But the fact of the matter is you have come from THERE.

" This world and the beauty that you see around you is your legacy. Which means if your maker can create something beautiful so can you. You are a CO-CREATOR. Can you please write that with a permanent marker on the walls of your Cranium?" So said the good angel.

It is only recently that I am beginning to understand the meaning of co-creation. And it is a marvelous and joyful experience -this co-creation. And extremely EMPOWERING.

DAY 20 - A picture story book

Okay, there are still a couple of hours to Day 20.

However, Day 20 is getting posted in the tail end of Day 19, because I am going to be nowhere near a computer tomorrow – ah bliss!


This image could easily be one from the 40s or 50s. AND there are so many layers to this image. And that’s what makes this image special.

It’s like a little book of short stories. Every time I look at the image I see a story. Tales of adolescence, friendship, the equation between boys and girls, diversity, unity and innocent fun. There are very many tales hidden in the layers of this image. If only one cares to look!

DAY 19 - BNW HEROES

I was a strange kid. I liked to watch the BNW newsreel which used to be shown just before the movie began in the cinema-theatre. I also liked watching ads –vicco vajradanthi was one of my favorites. I told you, I was a bit off the rocker to begin with.

I was fascinated by BNW newsreel. Most of the time I didn’t understand it, I was too young. But for some reason I knew it my bones that I was watching heroes and heroines who were making history.

The hair on the nape of my neck would tingle when I saw tall, shabby, black-nosed men atop a bnw Himalayas or some strange mountain planting a flag; men and women who won medals; who swam across shark infested oceans; women who brought strong men to their knees; men who saved nations.

To me they all had one thing in common, they beat all odds to achieve a remarkable feat, something which the world might or might not understand. And they were all in BNW. Even today, I think I subconsciously associate heroism with BNW or vice versa –not sure .

That is the reason when I photographed this young boy I could only see him in BNW.

This boy is an inmate of Mathru Foundation, run by another brave woman, Malathi Holla. He is polio afflicted. He sometimes walks on all fours and at other times uses a wheelchair. But you need to see him play cricket to believe it. I did.

He loves the game. He bats with a strong hand. He bowls with a purpose. He does both squatting on the floor.

He might never become a famous cricketer in the regular sense, though he might dream of being one. YET to me he was like those mountaineers who climb the Himalayan peak.

He was one of those BNW heroes who beat all odds and find a way to achieve their dreams.

DAY 18 - PERSPECTIVE

During my career as a journalist I have met scores of people who have made an impression upon me and I have learnt valuable lessons from very many people who have crossed my path.

One such person was a co-passenger during one of my umpteen journeys.

I don’t remember much of that journey which took place almost a decade ago. I don’t even remember the name of the gentleman. But I remember something which he told me and which stuck on to my brain forever:

" As a creative person never lose the ability to look at things from different perspectives. Remember there is always more than one point of view, even when you believe yours is the right one.

" No matter how strong your belief is about something always remember that there are more than one way to look at things and those other ways might be right.

" Life is multidimensional. And so is all that we see, hear and say. Above all it is so much fun to look at things differently from what is the accepted norm.

Even today, I never fail to look at things from different perspective. SO much so, it’s become a habit of mine and I quite enjoy doing it.

In fact, I never get bored waiting for people, because I occupy myself looking at things around me from a different perspective –like this image. This is how I saw a glass of water as I was waiting for a client to arrive

DAY 17 -Abandoned Sofa

When I built my house the only thing that I was absolutely sure of was my study. I knew it would be in warm colors, it would have an antique writing desk, a book case AND most importantly, a comfortable sofa that I can sink into. No sofa, no study. Because I knew I would be spending a lot of my life in that sofa, it was going to be an integral part of my life.

I spent weeks looking for the right sofa. I had spent hours sitting and feeling up the sofas in umpteen showrooms. But nothing felt right. So much so people thought I was a sofa-stalker.

One day, when I had almost given up on my search, I met MY sofa. It’s orange hues matched the walls of my study. It was not gaudy –just warm and inviting. The minute I sat on it I knew she was mine. I was lost in her warm embrace. It felt like home.

I brought her home and sat her next to the window. The exact spot where beautiful sunlight would stream through. Oh, I just loved it. And I gave strict instructions to everyone at home that it was MINE and no one should forget that.

But the problem was anyone who sat on that sofa, fell in love with it and wouldn’t want to get up. And my dad was on top of the list of defaulters.

Like a typical Malayali man he would oil the ten and a half strands of hair on his head and have a head bath every day. And for the rest of the day he would go around leaving an Australia shaped wet oily patch on whatever he would rest his head on. So I had strictly forbidden my dad from sitting on my sofa, lest in case I had numerous australias on my sofa.

We have had childish fights over the sofa. Whenever he wanted to get my attention he would plonk himself on the sofa because he knew that would surely get him my attention. And we would have a massive argument. In hindsight I think he enjoyed these arguments, which were his way of getting some time with his otherwise busy daughter.

Oh how I hated him when he usurped my sofa.

Today, dad’s no more. And I’d give anything to have him occupy that sofa just once. I am not being an emotional dram queen here, it’s just that I sometimes think, what a fool I had been to fight with a man who loved me dearly, over a piece of furniture. How thick I had been not to have realized that it is not the sofa that he had wanted but some precious time with me.

We tend to take people in our lives for granted. Thinking that they’d be around forever, we go about living our busy lives. But no one stays here forever –so we might as well choose wisely. Is it going to be the sofa or….?

DAY 16 -Dec 19 2009 ( Nature's Teachers)

(This photograph was uploaded ysday but for some reason got lost in cyber land -so re-posting again)



Nature's Teachers

I like this image for two reasons

1. It's clean frame and straight lines. Uncomplicated and simple just like Nature itself.

2. There is a story to this bird (or at least the one I perceive it to be).

This koyal (I presume it is one, though I love birds I cannot name them or their breeds) sits on this cable wire every morning, around eightish, just when the morning sun is at its glorious best.

Nothing fascinating about that. However, what is is that this cable wire is the fiefdom of a group of parrots. They are extremely territorial about this cable wire. This is where they chit chat, romance, squabble, and do all the things that parrots generally do.

I hardly see any other bird occupying this pace for more than a few seconds. If they do -then they are in for trouble.

However, every morning, the parrots let this koyal enjoy the sun from this vantage point. They don't disturb her. They don't chase her away. And for the Koyal, she never returns to this spot until the next morning.

To me that's live and let live policy at its best. There is space under the sun for everyone. And it is rightly said, that Nature is after all the best teache

Day 15 - Tech Touch

It was a square corridor with an open plan. Yet it seemed dark and dingy. There were two people bent over stretched pieces of fabric, working their magic with a needle and thread. They were embroidering intricate designs which would one day complement a beautiful woman.

There was an old man and a young boy. In between them were two empty looms and a tangible generation gap.

It was the young boy that caught my attention. When somebody enters a room your unconscious response would be to look up. When I entered the room and even when I stood next to the boy, he did not respond, neither consciously or unconsciously.

He had his chin planted firmly on the wooden slat used to stretch the fabric. There was a mobile phone next to him. He was listening to FM radio on his phone. He seemed to be in a world of his own yet completely disconnected from the world around him.

Not once did he raise his eyes to see what was happening around him. His eyes were fixed on the needle that was pricking a beautiful design on the fabric and his ears tuned to the songs on his mobile.

Yet, somehow I did not sense arrogance or defiance in him. Instead I sensed defeat. The boy seemed to have already given up on life even before it could begin. He seemed resigned to his fate. It seemed like he wanted a different life, maybe go to school, and get a different job. But he seemed to have given up on all his dreams and embarked on a path of living life as dictated by family, circumstances and society.

And it seemed that the only thing that brought him some joy was his mobile phone. Because he could listen to songs and pretend to be someone else. It helps him create a world of his own so unlike the one he’s living in.

Apparently, it seems that the much maligned mobile phone, which is blamed for people becoming less friendly and human, is in fact the only thing that’s making this boy less robotic and more human. Technology has its uses, I guess.

DAY 14 - Ms. Goose

I am the happiest amongst mountains and valleys, forests and fields, birds and animals, flowers, sun, moon and the skies. (Not much of a beach person though)

I can spend hours watching nature. Some might call it day dreaming or a lazy bum's sophisticated way of wasting time.

But I call it life's workshop. Nature teaches you a lot by revealing itself to you. It depends on what you want to learn.

I went to visit a friend who has this lovely rustic place with lots of geese and snakes. The latter -I have great respect but maintain a healthy distance. However, the former is great fun to watch.

These have a great sense of humor and take great pride in grooming themselves.

The image in the centre was offered to me on a platter by the stylish goose -it was post-card-perfect. And then she went to her favoritegrooming corner and spent a good ten minutes giving herself a spa treatment -I just couldn't resist putting these up....

Taking the best care of what she has -yes that's what she was doing and with utter joy and conviction

DAY 13 - THE DANCING GIRL

One of the best advice that I was given was - when you are down think of a moment in your life when you were at the top -recollect what you felt like and what you did to achieve that which made you feel a winner. AND then you will realize that you can do it again, and again and again.

I have held on to this piece of advice for my dear life. And it has always helped me bounce back with ten times more strength and success.

Each one of us have one such special moment in life. A moment that gives you the necessary adrenalin rush to fly. For me those moments keep changing as years pass by.

These days that special moment is tied to SMOKE PHOTOGRAPHY

As a self-taught photographer, I have always considered myself blessed to encounter professionals who have been generous with their knowledge and their willingness to teach me their craft.

It was three weeks after I picked up the camera and clicked my first shot. I was consumed by the urge to learn. I became a regular cyber-bum reading anything and everything about photography.

During this time I came across Steve Paxton, a US photographer's work. I was captivated by his SMOKE photography. I wrote to him and asked him how he did it.

I really took a chance here, because I didn't know whether he would be willing to share his knowledge. But he was more than willing.

He sent me a detailed, step-by-step, process of how to photograph smoke. It was fantastic. But there was a catch -I did not have an SLR and I did not have lights. Still I couldn't wait for nightfall, because a dark room is an ideal place to shoot smoke.

I decided to give it a shot with my semi-SLR camera and a pen torch. I was thrilled with my results. I sent Steve my shots. And he was more thrilled than I was. Such was his generous spirit. I still remember his words - you have done a great job with the resources in your hand.

Today, sometimes when I am plagued with doubts about my ability to take a particular shot or if I have fallen prey to any negative emotions about my ability to do what I want to do I always go back to my SMOKE PHOTOGRAPHY.

Today I understand lights and I can access the resources needed to shoot these kinds of pictures as a professional usually does. But still I go back and shoot SMOKE, using my agarbathis and pen torch. And the results are always like a booster shot for me.

This dancing girl image will keep me going for a long time.... :)

DAY 12 -QUIRKY

Sometimes there are more stories in the fuzzy-hazy shapes than crystal clear pictures. And it is always much more fun that way, simply because, it lends itself to different interpretations.

It also allows you to look at something differently. It makes room for quirkiness.

It lets you expand your mind-muslce in more ways than you could imagine. Sometimes it's fun to tread the non-beaten path.

I guess that's why I like this image.

DAY 11 -COMPANIONS

I saw both man and his friend take a walk in the hot afternoon sun. There was something about these two -as if they belonged together; as if there was a connection -almost a blood-tie between them.

I know one is human and the other a dog, yet they both seemed to resemble each other at many levels.

Both tall and lean, both seemed nearing the end of the road of life; somehow they both seemed lonely; both seemed to have lived a long life with many twists and turns. And they seemed to have been there for each other through the thick and thin of it all.

They seemed made for each other -perfect companions -the man and his dog.

Of course I could be all wrong and it might just be the case of my imagination on over drive...but somehow I still like the story. I believe -humans and dogs are made for each other so much so, if you live together long enough you even begin to resemble each other... :)

Day 10 -Tireless Spirit

This image has reminded me why I believe in the unfailing human spirit; why I love photography AND why I want to take photos everyday, for the rest of my life.

I was at a traffic signal, inside a car (for once, I wasn't driving) when one of life's brilliant moments unfolded before me.

It was a traffic junction. The road adjacent to me was slightly uphill and the vehicles on that particular road was given the green signal to proceed.

As the traffic zipped past like horses on a racing track, I saw this man emerge slowly. First it was the wobbly, held-together-on-a-prayer kinda tricycle that caught my eye. Then I saw the handicapped man, pedaling with his hands, slowly, but steadily and confidently. The road was uphill and so was the man's task.

Then I saw his face. Blissful. He had this almost beatific smile on his face. He was looking around taking in the scenes around him, enjoying the weather, the ride...everything. I realised that this man was indeed living the statement which many amongst us strive very hard to even believe on a daily basis: Satisfied with what IS and eager and hopeful for what is coming.

Day 9- NOW

Many years ago I heard someone say to me: Stand still. Be in the moment. And you will experience your soul dip into the universe.

At that point of time I was absorbed by my past and anxious about my future to understand the meaning of standing still for NOW to happen.

But when I took this particular shot, a scene, which lasted for less than 30 secs, I experienced what could be termed as one's soul dipping into the Universe.

An inexplicable joy for which you didn't have to strive hard. A gift from the universe.

It is that perfect moment when you feel all the pieces fall into place like a complicated Rubik cube that's been solved. A moment when you are not worried, afraid, anxious, jealous, angry or bitter. A moment when you feel your heart jump out of your chest and soar hight into the skies with joy. And all you had to do was just stand still and experience the NOW.

The colors were rich. The silhouette dark and complementing. It was a perfect picture. All I had to do was take a deep breath, and click the pic. Then put my signature on it. Yes, that's all I did to this photograph.
That is the power of being aware of NOW - it think :)

Day 8 - My Fortress (Dec 10, 2009)

She is 4' nothing. But to me she is everything. I sometimes tell her, "Lady, you have wasted your life over me. When are you going to start living your life." And she would turn around and say, "Duh, you are my life." And I'd say, "Vomit, vomit - cloying- ugh!" And she would smile knowingly.

Each time I announce, "I am going to jump off the cliff," she knew I was going to turn my life (and hers too) upside down. I was going to do something, which the world would consider outrageously stupid.

Yet, she would always ask me 2 questions: Are you sure? I'd say yes. Then she'd ask, are you willing to face the consequences? And if i said yes, (which i always did), she'd say -"Fine. Go ahead, jump. I am with you."

And then I'd jump off the cliff. But invariably, she'd be the one to suffer broken bones, heart and soul. She'd bear it for me so I could enjoy my journey off and down the cliff.

This picture is very poignant and will be a precious one for a long time to come. It reminds me of a life time of love; a life time that this woman spent caring, loving and looking out for me. It also reminds me of time ticking away, which makes me want to savor every moment.

It reminds me that no matter how old I become I will always be mama's little girl. And I can run to her every time I bruise. And she will be there for me.

Yes, the little lady is my mom and she will be there for me as long as she can -which I pretty much know will be till the end.

Day 7 - Rusting Memories (Dec 9, 2009)

I am not a car-person. For me a car is just four-wheels- and-a- steering- wheel contraption that takes me from point A to point B.

However, my first car, which i still drive, is very much a part of my life.

That little car of mine carries within its four doors, reams of memories. I have laughed, cried, thrown a fit, shed tears of joy, moaned and groaned in the confines of my car. She, my car that is, has been a witness to all- my success, my failures, my fears, my doubts, my moments of triumph and confidence. (No, i have never necked in the backseat, could be because I got my car well-past the necking-age)

Your car is one place where you can be yourself (the bathroom is another place). It's just you, your Maker and your car. You can talk to yourself, speak your mind, open your heart, do anything and the car will never judge you. And did I tell you -I'm not a car person.

Your car is one place where you create a lot of
memories. And memories have a life of its own -an energy about itself- they might fade a wee bit and fray around the edges over time, but they don't die. And your car, especially your first car, is a treasure trove of memories.

That's the reason why this image caught my attention. I pass by this abandoned car every day. It sits on the sidewalk -in rain and sunshine. Disintegrating into a mound of its own rust, little by little everyday. Yet, it sits on its belly, leaning on the strength of the memories it carries. Somehow that makes this dead car seem very much alive.

I wonder about its owner. I wonder about the memories he/she created in this car. The owner might have moved on to a bigger car, but I wonder -does he still think about this one? I know I would. I know my friends would. I have a friend who still scans the roads for her old car which she had sold to buy a new one.

This once-upon-a-time-pristine-white care remains -on the side walk, abandoned with just the memories of her owner for company.

Again -did I tell you -I am not a car person at all :) Honestly!

Day 6 -Fairy Landing (Dec 8, 2009)

For a very very long time I thought little fairies lived in mushroom houses and colorful flower villas.

As a child I have spent many days trying to see these ethereal creatures sitting on the dewy petals with their glass slipper-clad feet dangling from the edges of the soft petals. Till I actually began to see them vividly in my mind's eyes. (Yup that was always a complaint against me -I lived in a world of my own making -still do i guess).

I don't remember when my fascination with fairies and flowers began -but they were a huge part of my childhood years.

If I allow myself, even today, I can vividly recollect those images and the fairy world that I had created and wanted to be a part of.

Spirally stairs, up the mushroom stem, leading to the main living quarters of the fairies - a beautiful magical place in the umbrella top of the mushrooms. Little round sky windows dotting the mushroom dome through which one could see the world inhabited by humans and their ugly homes (ha!)

AND then there were the flowers.I thought beautiful young fairies lived here -the fairy villas. And the flowerbeds were also their playground or so I thought, where the fairies came out to play and shop (for whatever the fairies usually shopped for -star dust, dew drop pearls etc)

This was their fairy disney land. Where they would slide down the giant petals, with their silver wings flying behind them, into the maze in the flower-centre....or just go for a leisurely walk in the soft petal-park or even fly from one dazzling flower to the other....it was a world that I had created in my head.

A world that I felt absolutely happy in. A world that I still retreat to whenever I miss the child in me -for the child in us never grows up and never dies. I believe it is the child in us that keeps the adult in us alive.

This particular flower reminded me of my childhood fairies and fantasies -ethereal, beautiful and magical.My secret place to retreat to when the pressures of the adult world becomes a tad too difficult. :)

Day 5 - Vanishing World (Dec 7, 2009)

With shopping malls and their varied food courts dotting the city, the roadside panipuri-seller is slowing becoming a vanishing breed.
I chanced upon this pani puri-seller 2 hours away from the city. Unfortunately for him, there was a mini-mall just a few yards away from where he was sitting.
He was parked outside a school. And I was parked across the street from him. I waited for almost 40 mts, to see whether he would make a sale. But his plastic bag of puris remained untied on the large aluminium plate.
He was almost invisible to the school children and the rest of the crowd. He didn't seem to mind. He was lost in his own world -watching kids of his age trotting off to the mall; shiny cars zip past him -it was a world that I am sure he'd loved to occupy, and so he did in his head with his pani puri stand completely forgotten.
After all aren't we all entitled to a world of our own even if it is in the land of our imagination?

DAY 4 - Basking in the Sun (Dec 6, 2009)

I have seen numerous photographs of spiders and spiderwebs. And most often than not they are all water-based images, meaning they were either taken immediately after the rains with beautiful water droplets dotting every rung of the web or something on those lines. Spider web and water are like sun and sand. Perfect match. And that is precisely why this little fella caught my attention. He was far away from even a drop of water. He seemed to be basking in the glorious sun. For all he cared he could've been in the Bahamas getting a sexy tan. I did not have a macro lens to capture him in detail. But capture the image, I must and I did. There was this little fella spread on all fours in the sun room of his web house, with rays of sunlight streaking through and beautiful blue sky with fluffy white clouds in the background. He had it all in the NOW. And he was happy. I was happy. Till the evil little one on my shoulder whispered -`Maybe you should take a photograph with beautiful water droplets on his web. That's how all the other photos are. That's how the rest of the world clicks a spider web. Have you ever seen a spider web in the sun, you can hardly see the web?" And I gave into the temptation to join the herd. Since rain seemed like many months away I decided to sprinkle some water on the web. I did it with a heavy hand. And right before my eyes the web collapsed. The little spider was stunned to flatness on the ground. Who would want to spoil my innocent moment of happiness, he seemed to be thinking. I am not being dramatic when I say I felt awful. I really did. I just destroyed the most beautiful image that was before me, that which I had no hand in creating.And for what? So that I can join the `be-like-others' bandwagon? Sometimes, it is best to tread your own path. And never ever disturb a spider enjoying his spot under the sun.

Day 3 - (Dec 5, 2009)

Way above the ground, up in the sky, closer to the clouds, stands this man, on a tower doing his job. Making some notes in his book, tightening a bolt here and there, checking stuff only he understands, ensuring that everything is functioning well, so that thousands of mobile phone subscribers can enjoy good connectivity.
He climbs up this really tall tower with no safety net to protect him, lest in case he misses a step. I don't see a helmet or any other safety gear on him. Yet he climbs up to dangerous heights to do a job -to earn a living. At that height he is surrounded by clouds, the view is fantastic, there are all kinds of birds flying past him. It must be like a little patch of Garden of Eden up there. Yet, not even for a minute, did he stop what he was doing and look around and enjoy all that beauty. What an irony!
He's made that trip all the way to the top, he has to finish his task up there,while at it, why not spend a few minutes to just enjoy those clouds and birds up there??
Maybe he is too engrossed in his job. Or maybe he is so scared of heights that he just cannot see what's in front of him.....yet, what a waste!

DAY 2: Lonely Cocoons (Dec 4, 2009)

This picture was taken at a coffee shop. To me it greatly defines the changing times.
There was a time when you went to a coffee shop and actually made friends while waiting for your own to arrive.
Sipping coffee, you looked around, caught someone's eye, exchanged smiles, hellos and some more.

But not anymore. These days, while you are waiting for your friends, you sip your coffee and fiddle with your mobile phone. And you continue fiddling even after your friends have arrived.
Sigh! We have become adept at building lonely cocoons in public spaces.
Times change indeed!
But the phone comes in handy if you really have a pesky guy at the next table. As they say change need not necessarily be all bad. :)

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Day 2: Dec 4, 2009 - Lonely Cocoons This picture was taken at a coffee shop. To me it greatly defines the changing times. There was a time when you went to a coffee shop and actually made friends while waiting for your own to arrive. Sipping coffee, you looked around, caught someone's eye, exchanged smiles, hellos and some more. But not anymore. These days, while you are waiting for your friends, you sip your coffee and fiddle with your mobile phone. And you continue fiddling even after your friends have arrived. Sigh! We have become adept at building lonely cocoons in public spaces. Times change indeed! But the phone comes in handy if you really have a pesky guy at the next table. As they say change need not necessarily be all bad. :)

DAY 1: Life in the Dumps - Dec 3, 2009

Every day I see this particular family come to work.
Their office: The local garbage dumping ground.
Their job: From morning till evening they rummage through the pile of rubbish looking for, I think, scraps of metal and other stuff, which they can later sell, to earn a day's meal.
No of workers:Two men and two women.Mostly it is a family venture. But on odd days you can see a friend or neighbor join them in the scavenging.
The kid: Obviously, they cannot afford a nanny, so they bring the child to work. And the garbage dump becomes the child's disney land. She is happy playing in the dirt (literally), jumping, skipping and sliding on the mound of silicon valley waste.
The stench sometimes is unberable. But the family, I think has gotten used to it by now. I see them laugh, share jokes, sometimes even eat lunch sitting on that pile of garbage. Making the most of the moment.
For them it's just another work day.
Just another day of scavenging in the dumps for a livelihood.